Location: Osprey, Fla. Price: $16,900,000 The Skinny: Consider, for a moment, the staged perfection of listing photos: coming home to a house that’s been meticulously polished to its Platonic ideal as this one has must be like arriving at your front door only to find that your grandmother’s front sitting room, with its strictly off–limits knick-knacks and vacuum-sealed sofas, is now every room in your house. Do you dare muss the taut bedclothes, or move the towel that’s so artfully draped over the edge of your tub (as if someone just happened to casually lay it down in the most picturesque way possible)? Is it permissible to flop down in your favorite easy chair, or will your weight irreparably deform its perfectly fluffed, better-than-new, cushions? And as for making a crumbly peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the sterile operating theater standing in for the kitchen—well, no. All chin-stroking aside, this four-bedroom, eight-bathroom bayfront home, which the listing thoughtfully assures us is “architect-designed”, is asking $16.9M.