Category Archives: Pound Ridge

Uncertainty, QE3 push mortgage rates to new lows | North Salem NY Real Estate

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With U.S. lawmakers heading toward the edge of the “fiscal cliff,” government-backed mortgage bonds that fund the vast majority of home loans are looking like a safe haven for investors, helping push mortgage rates to new lows.

Rates on 30-year fixed-rate mortgages averaged 3.34 percent with an average 0.7 point for the week ending Nov. 15, down from 3.4 percent last week and 4 percent a year ago, Freddie Mac said in releasing the results of its weekly Primary Mortgage Market Survey.

That’s a new low in Freddie Mac records dating to 1971. In the four decades that Freddie Mac has conducted the mortgage market survey, rates on 30-year fixed-rate loans had never been below 4 percent until last year.

The survey showed rates on 15-year fixed-rate mortgages averaging 2.65 percent with an average 0.7 point, down from 2.69 percent last week and 3.31 percent a year ago. That’s also a new record in Freddie Mac records dating to 1991.

For five-year Treasury-indexed hybrid adjustable-rate mortgage (ARM) loans, rates averaged 2.74 percent with an average 0.6 point, up from 2.73 percent last week but down from 2.97 percent a year ago. Rates on five-year ARM loans hit a low in records dating to 2005 of 2.69 percent during the week ending July 19.

Rates on one-year Treasury-indexed ARM loans averaged 2.55 percent with an average 0.3 point, down from 2.59 percent last week and 2.98 percent a year ago. That’s a new low in records dating to 1984.

Applications for mortgage loan applications bounced back last week after being dented by Hurricane Sandy, according to a separate survey by the Mortgage Bankers Association.

That survey showed applications for purchase mortgages were up a seasonally adjusted 11 percent during the week ending Nov. 9 compared to the week before, and up 22 percent from a year ago.

Bond prices and yields move in opposite directions, and increased demand for mortgage-backed securities (MBS) guaranteed by Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae and Ginnie Mae has pushed mortgage rates down.

The Federal Reserve has been one of the biggest purchasers of MBS, in a deliberate move to stimulate the economy by lowering the cost of borrowing.  A first round of “quantitative easing” by the Fed that wrapped up in 2010 helped push mortgage rates below 5 percent. That program involved the purchase of $1.25 trillion in Fannie and Freddie MBS and debt.

A third round of quantitative easing (“QE3”) announced by the Fed on Sept. 13 has boosted its MBS purchases by $40 billion a month. Because of the sluggish pace of the recovery, Fannie Mae economists think that open-ended program could last through all of 2013 and perhaps into 2014, and grow the Fed’s balance sheet by $1 trillion.

via inman.com

Doorsteps: A new generation of buyers are ready to buy a home smarter, better and faster – will you join them? | Pound Ridge Real Estate

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A funny thing happened after we launched Doorsteps, an online tool we explicitly designed and marketed to agents. Buyers kept signing up. And not just one or two. Dozens. Then hundreds. Then we lost count.

To be fair, this wasn’t entirely a shock. Doorsteps was conceived as a shared online workspace to help give agents a well-designed way to guide their buyers through the home-buying journey. It’s packed with 100% unbiased, insider information, and lots of smart tools to help their buyers (and potential buyers) make faster, better decisions.

We knew that buyers needed this kind of step-by-step support, and that there were no good places to get a really clear understanding of all the moving pieces. And certainly not in a single place to see it all in context. But what was surprising was how badly they wanted it, even before they had connected with an agent. In a nutshell, they were too impatient to wait to be invited in. They wanted to get going right here, right now.

Looking back, though, it makes perfect sense. Home-buyers are different today than they were even five or ten years ago. This is a generation used to using technology to organize their lives, to connect with others, to make decisions. They expect – and increasingly demand – transparency. And they are surrounded by really well-designed tools they use every single day, whether they are trying to find the right doctor or book a table in a restaurant. So their standards for home-buying went way up even before many of them had bought their first home.

Especially for GenY, who watched their older siblings get pummeled in the housing crisis and don’t want to make the same mistakes. Or even GenX, who last bought a home seven or eight years ago and realize the landscape fundamentally shifted beneath them in the meantime.

Which is why we recently built a buyer-facing version of Doorsteps that would allow any buyer to use the app even before contacting an agent. The best part? The app now actually helps them find the right agent, and they will be way more organized, prepared, and ready to do so when they actually take that step. Pretty soon they’ll be able to find the right lender right within Doorsteps, too. And then the best-of-the-best service providers out there— home insurance, moving companies, you name it.

A New Generation of Homebuyer from Doorsteps on Vimeo.

So it’s a win-win. Buyers get to begin their journey on their own terms, if they choose to. But agents get to step in when those buyers are truly prepared and eager to take the step from curious to committed. Which is why Doorsteps agents are thrilled to connect with buyers who are already in the system, and why it’s such a personal joy for us to be able to enable that connection. It’s not just, “Hey, Jennifer, I saw a listing online that looked sort of nice. Should we meet?”, but more like “Hey, I’m pre-approved, I have clearly articulated my wants and needs, I have a realistic budget in mind, I have a general understanding of which neighborhoods may make the most sense for my life stage and family, and I’d like to move within three months. Should we meet?”.

You can imagine which of those buyers agents have told us they would like to work with more. And, honestly, this is what buyers want, too.

So we’re really excited to announce the launch of two Doorsteps. The agent version, which real estate professionals know and love. And the buyer version, which buyers demanded. And it’s a great lesson for any startup, or any real estate business. Listen. Be nimble. Be open to learn something you weren’t quite expecting. And make sure your welcome mat is as wide as it ought to be.

And even if you don’t use a lot of technology yourself, embody the characteristics that makes using technology so attractive to your clients. Clarity. Openness. Transparency. And for goodness sake, give ‘em what they want. If it happens to also be what they need, all the better.

via next.inman.com

Home Depot delivers latest upbeat housing signals | North Salem NY Real Estate

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Thirty-three of the company’s top 40 markets posted positive same-store sales. Its northeastern region was the main one in which some markets saw negative sales.

While the company continued to see demand for maintenance and repair projects, a positive sign also emerged in sales of higher-priced items. The number of customer transactions rose 1.7%, while the average transaction amount rose 2.9% to $54.55, marking a sixth straight quarter of transaction and ticket growth.

While customer transactions — or “tickets” — under $50, representing approximately 20% of Home Depot’s U.S. sales, were flat, transactions over $900, also about one-fifth of U.S. sales, were up 4.3%, driven by demand for appliances, flooring and in-stock kitchens.

Analysts have said a recovery in bigger-ticket items offers a view into consumers’ willingness to shell out beyond basic repair needs. Blake said the company’s windows business, hard hit during the economic downturn, also has seen a return to growth.

“Customers are beginning to be willing to step in and do the decor projects,” Blake said on the call. See story on Home Depot’s e-commerce strategy.

Sandy impact

Home Depot, which saw demand rise as consumers readied for Hurricane Sandy, said recovery and rebuilding efforts will positively impact its sales — to an extent comparable to the aftermath of last year’s Hurricane Irene, with possible upside because of the bigger property damage estimated to have resulted from Sandy. The Home Depot executives, however, are uncertain about the timing of that impact. The company said consumers buying batteries, flashlights, generators and extension cords ahead of Sandy buttressed third-quarter sales by about $70 million.

via articles.marketwatch.com

Find Yourself … and Find Your Niche | South Salem NY Real Estate

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I once watched an interview with Ricky Gervais, where he talked about how a lot of people don’t like his stand up comedy. He said he didn’t care. All he needs is 5,000 people in each town to fill a theater, and then he’s set. Whether the rest of the population like him or not is irrelevant.

It’s the same with your blog.

You might be extremely passionate about obscure German movies, or maybe you’re obsessed with antique books; or perhaps you happen to have an unusually large amount of knowledge about Mongolian fruit. Whatever it is, that’s your niche.

And sometimes you don’t even know your niche—at least, not at first. The important thing is to get writing—to discover your niche. What do I mean by “discover your niche”?

I mean: figure out who you are.

At first, I blogged generically about movies. I thought my passion was film. Turns out, I think most films are terrible. But I love it when you really hear a voice in the writing; when a film is actually saying something. When you feel you’ve witnessed a real piece of art.

Gradually, my blogging changed—it became more about auteurs, writer/directors, and about the incredible opportunities of independent film.

I found my niche. I found myself. And the blog exploded after that.

Once you’ve figured out what you want to write about, then you can really become an expert within your field. That doesn’t mean that you know everything; it means that you’re leading the quest.

On my blog, I interview screenwriters and directors who inspire me, in the hope that they can lead me further to the truth of what it is to be an artist. They help me figure out why the struggle to produce great films is worth it. They keep me on track.

I’m in a constant dialogue with the readers. Sometimes I inspire them with my insight. Other times, they shoot me down for talking nonsense—which in turn teaches me a lot. We learn from each other, and we’re on the same quest.

Having a niche is about that one corner of the world that is totally yours. Everything about it, you’re in love with. Lots of people might have blogs about how to make cupcakes, but your blog is about how to make cupcakes without sugar; or using only chocolate; or using leftover pieces of chicken—who knows? Only you do!

Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out along the way.

Once you truly focus on being yourself, you’ll stand apart from the rest, and the readers will flock to you, because you’re telling the truth, and your excitement makes them excited.

When that happens, you know you’ve found your niche.

Kid In The Front Row is a cult film blog with a more personal outlook. It’s not about reviewing movies, it’s not about criticising movies – it’s about loving movies. About loving them so much that still, after all these years, we’re just Kids In The Front Row, shoving popcorn down our faces as we stare up at those wonderful people on the big screen.

via problogger.net

Should lockboxes be mandatory? | Pound Ridge NY Real Estate

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Lockbox image via SentriLock LLCLockbox image via SentriLock LLC

The National Association of Realtors is considering whether multiple listing services and Realtor associations will be allowed to require that their members pay for some services that are now considered optional, such as lockboxes.

At least three MLSs have notified NAR of their desire to require all of their subscribers to pay for lockbox services, citing security issues when members don’t use the devices, and potential cost savings from universal member participation.

A policy adopted by NAR in 1996 to curb potential abuses of authority by MLSs and local Realtor associations limits the services that can be included in member dues. Products and services are defined as either “core,” “basic” or “optional.”

Dan Coffey, broker-owner of RE/MAX Harbor Country and Shore Realty Inc., said many MLSs already require members to pay for lockbox services.

“The train has left the station,” Coffey told members of NAR’s Multiple Listing Issues and Policies Committee. “Just about every MLS is already doing this — I don’t think they read the (rule) book.”

Coffey — a former president of the Michigan Association of Realtors — belongs to the Southwestern Michigan Association of Realtors, the first to raise the issue with NAR.

Although only three MLSs have officially weighed in with NAR in favor of such a change, “there are many more than three associations that support this move to make lockboxes a basic service,” said Dale Zahn, CEO of the West Michigan Lakeshore Association of Realtors..

Categorizing lockboxes as a “basic” service and requiring that all MLS subscribers pay for them facilitates cooperation between members and provides better security for home sellers, proponents say.

House keys kept in real estate offices can be copied, and combinations shared. Electronic lockboxes can be used only by MLS and association members, reducing the likelihood of unauthorized entries.

“It’s the local association’s choice to do what it wants to do — to provide the package that it thinks members like,” Zahn added. If members don’t like it, “they can find another association … it’s board of choice.”

But Jim Haisler, CEO of the Crystal Lake, Ill.-based Heartland Realtor Organization, worried that large regional MLSs might adopt policies that not all of the associations they serve would agree with.

“I’m part of a large regional (MLS) serving 11 associations,” Haisler said, referring to Lisle, Ill.-based Midwest Real Estate Data LLC (MRED), one of the nation’s largest MLSs. “I’m worried our MLS might be dictating to the 11 associations, (and) have some sort of governance over the associations.”

Cathy Libby, operations manager of Maine’s statewide MLS, Maine Real Estate Information System Inc., suggested that if NAR is considering whether to allow MLSs and associations to classify lockboxes as required services, it should also review whether other recent innovations like transaction management software, e-signatures and agent websites could also be classified as basic, required services.

Rather than recommend policy changes on lockboxes alone to NAR’s board of directors, the committee adopted a motion Saturday to review whether more sweeping changes to the 1996 policy statement are warranted.

The committee informed the board of directors that MLS Policy Statement 7.57, “Categorization of MLS Services, Information and Products,” will be “reviewed and revised, taking into account changes in technology and the real estate business” since the policy was adopted in 1996.

“Integral to this process will be consideration of whether, and how, the costs of providing lockbox equipment to MLS participants and subscribers (where lockboxes are an activity of MLSs) or to association members (where lockboxes are an activity of associations of Realtors) can be included in whole or in part in MLS dues and fees, or in Realtor dues,” the committee said in a report to the board Monday. “This analysis will also take into account the existing prohibition in the NAR bylaws on including the costs of property optional services in association dues.”

Last year, NAR boosted its majority stake in SentriLock LLC, a lockbox company that had about a 20 percent share of the market at the time, becoming sole owner of the company.

NAR’s staff liaison to the Multiple Listing Issues and Policies Committee, Cliff Niersbach, said that the lockbox issue presents a good opportunity to take a look at other services, and find “the best way to balance MLSs’ financial well-being with the rights of participants to decide what they really need to best serve their customers.”

via inman.com

10 Simple Tips to Becoming a Better Blogger | North Salem Realtor

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It was in 1439 a professional goldsmith created an agent for worldwide change. This invention facilitated enormous evolution to society in Europe and globally. The machine he created called the “printing press” provided for the first time, the means for the mass production of books.10 Simple Tips to Becoming a Better Blogger

His name was Johannes Gutenberg and he was German.

Over 3,600 pages a day could be printed compared to the forty that could be produced by hand printing. This was an increase in production of over 9,000 percent!

This machine changed everything.

Francis Bacon, the English philosopher said in 1620 that printing was one of three things that “changed the whole face and state of things throughout the world”. It introduced the era of mass communication which changed forever the structure of society and culture.

Ideas Crossed Borders

Authors such as Luther and Erasmus became best selling authors and their thoughts and writing allowed the blossoming of the middle class. The status of the elite was challenged. Literacy rose sharply. The monopoly and power of the religious and political leaders was threatened.

It led to the unrestricted circulation of information and perceived radical ideas that now crossed borders quickly and efficiently.

The Age of Digital Self Expression and Creativity

In the 1990′s people started expressing themselves with online diaries. According to Wikipedia, Justin Hall was one of the earliest bloggers who began eleven years of personal blogging in 1994 as the Web started to become widespread.

The phrase was coined “web log“, which has through the wonderful world of language, been transformed into the term “we blog” and hence “blogging“.

The tools for blogging have evolved to the point that the less technical of the population can now publish text, video and images simply and easily without understanding a single line of coding or computer programming. Tools such as WordPress and Tumblr have broken the technical tyranny of the geeks.

Self expression and creativity has exploded online and allowed anyone with enough passion and discipline to publish their ideas via rich digital multimedia.

Blogging plus Social Media

The rise of social media has allowed bloggers to display and market themselves and their content globally without having to pay a cent to a newspaper, television mogul or to the mass media elite.

Bloggers that were previously undiscovered became global brands on topics as diverse as food, fashion and technology. Marketing your blog was no longer restricted to building an RSS or email subscription list.

Publishing and marketing has been democratized. Freedom to express yourself globally is available in seconds and it is also mobile.

The age of the printing press is now threatened after 573 years. Print media marketing has now been surpassed by digital media for the first time in history.

So How do you Become a Better Blogger?

It is quite simple really.

  1. Blog late or early
  2. Blog while travelling
  3. Blog on holidays
  4. Blog even when your friends think you’re mad
  5. Blog on the bus
  6. Blog on the plane
  7. Blog when the boss isn’t watching
  8. Blog when your partner nags you to stop blogging
  9. Blog when your passion has taken a holiday
  10. Blog when you think no one cares about your blog

How About You?

Stephen King the world famous best selling author was asked “how do your become a better writer?” He answered that question in two ways. One word at a time and write 1,000 words every day.

That is what it took for him to become the success he is today.

What are you going to do to become a better blogger? The world is your oyster and it is the biggest opportunity in over 500 years. You are witnessing the biggest change to communication in 20 generations.

Look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments below.

Want to Learn How to Learn How to Become a Better Blogger?

My book – Blogging the Smart Way “How to Create and Market a Killer Blog with Social Media” – will show you how.

It is now available to download. I show you how to create and build a blog that rocks and grow tribes, fans and followers on social networks such as Twitter and Facebook. It also includes dozens of tips to create contagious content that begs to be shared and tempts people to link to your website and blog.

I also reveal the tactics I used to grow my Twitter followers to over 121,000.

You can download and read it now.

via jeffbullas.com

Frustrating reasons for rejected appraisals | Pound Ridge NY Real Estate

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Q: “I used your site approximately 30 days ago to try to refinance the loan on my four-family rental property; the rate was locked and the appraisal came back with a satisfactory value, according to the loan officer … I was told that loan processing would take a little time, but every time I checked I was told that everything was fine and proceeding on schedule. …

Today I received a phone call from the loan officer stating that the loan has been denied by the underwriter because the appraisal was not satisfactory. It seems that the comparables used in the appraisal were not “similar enough.” I asked what that meant exactly and did not get a response.”

A: It is a sorry state of affairs when a would-be borrower pays for an appraisal, which is not accepted by the lender who ordered it, and the loan is rejected as a result. While many transactions are torpedoed by appraisals that come in with values unacceptably low, in this case the value was satisfactory but the appraisal producing it was not. I am told by market insiders that before the financial crisis, this hardly ever happened, but today it is not unusual.

Appraisals are heavily based on comparables, which are similar houses in the same market area as the house being valued, and which were sold in the last six months or so. Much of the expertise of appraisers is in the selection of comparables, and in the ability to make informed judgments regarding how differences between the subject house and each comparable affect the value of the subject house.

A four-family house is much more of a challenge to an appraiser than a one-family house, both because the different units occupied by different families might differ significantly in their condition, and because comparables are more difficult to find. This has always been true, however, and does not explain why rejections based on unsatisfactory appraisals are more common today than in earlier years. This is not something that can be attributed to lender greed, since they don’t make any money on loans they don’t make.

The most plausible explanation is that the quality of appraisals has declined. To check that in the case at hand, I had the frustrated applicant send me a copy of the appraisal, which I went through step by step with an expert, who showed me the deficiencies. The “comparables” were anything but, and the valuation adjustments for differences between the alleged comparables and the subject property defied common sense. It was a poor appraisal, and its rejection by the underwriter was justified.

The quality of appraisals has declined since the regulatory ground rules were changed in 2009. In that year, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac issued the Home Valuation Code of Conduct (HVCC), which declared that the agencies thenceforth would purchase only those mortgages that were supported by an “independent” appraisal.

The objective of HVCC was to insulate the appraisal process from influence by any of the parties with an interest in the outcome. Mortgage brokers and Realtors could no longer have any contact with appraisers, and lenders had to obtain appraisals in some manner that prevented them from exercising any control.

To protect themselves from liability, most lenders today order appraisals from appraisal management companies (AMCs), which intermediate between the lender and the appraiser. The AMC selects and pays the appraiser, receives and evaluates the appraisal, and passes it to the lender, who has no direct contact with the appraiser.

Because AMCs operate nationally but do not have appraisers everywhere, more appraisals are being done by appraisers who are not familiar with the local market. Appraisers working for AMCs are also paid less per appraisal than independents — some AMCs put appraisal assignments up for bid, with the low bidder winning the assignment. This may induce appraisers to invest less time. While most appraisals today are done with the same care and professionalism as before HVCC, the fringe of inferior appraisals is larger — and those are the ones that are rejected.

Before HVCC when lenders, Realtors and appraisers talked to each other, the transaction described above might have been aborted by informal discussions regarding the lack of adequate comparables. This would have saved the would-be borrower an appraisal fee. If the comparables were adequate but the appraisal was poorly done, the lender probably would have had it done again with another appraiser who the lender knew was up to the challenge.

HVCC was designed to prevent loan providers from pressuring appraisers to come up with values high enough to make transactions workable in a period of rapidly rising market prices. In the process, however, it eliminated the positive influence of loan providers on the quality of appraisals. In today’s market, there is no danger of inflated appraisals, but we are left with lower-quality appraisals.

via inman.com

6 Practices to Overcome Your Fears of Playing Bigger | South Salem NY Homes for Sale

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Playing bigger. Putting yourself out there. What others will think? Not being good enough.

Most bloggers have had to face those fears at same point. Dreams and goals tend to bring up our ugly stories after all.

Being a life coach who works primarily with women looking to overcome fears, blocks, beliefs, and barriers is what I do. So of course I have an opinion on why it is our fears come up one step behind our dreams.

Because they need to.

They need to seen, heard, and dealt with. They need to be examined and released. Life will hear our desire to step up to the plate as a desire to step away from the dugout. “You want to play bigger? Good! Here’s the first thing you get to examine and let go of in order to do so.”

Our fear is not meant to be our saboteur. It’s just an emotion we’ve attached to the thoughts that go swirling through our head on overtime we go to hit that Publish button, or send out a tweet.

Digging deep to overcome that fear can be both a long, mindful process, or as fast and life-changing as a simple Aha! moment that forever changes the lens through which we see the world.

But if a client were to ask me which steps they most likely needed to take, here’s what I would say.

1. Surround yourself with the right systems of support

A big reason so many of us get freaked out at the perspective of blogging is because it’s new and probably mostly unheard of in our intimate circles.

Now I’m not knocking those intimate circles. We need those like we need water. But they serve a purpose of their own, and encouraging you to do something big and in a completely new arena is not likely the role they need to serve in your life.

By surrounding yourself with other bloggers (local meetups, online groups, tele-conferences circles with accountability partners), you’ll find more encouragement to match your fear and what looks a little crazy from the outside will begin to look natural and “what-was-there-to-be-afraid-of-again?”.

Get a coach, get a group, get a friend. Get support.

2. Don’t “push through fear.” Process through it

I loathe when I hear that term. It’s not that it’s always a big thing. I pushed through fear when I went cliff jumping. But this whole “Fear of Playing Bigger” thing isn’t over as soon as you hit the water.

Pushing through fear is like pushing a car through your first marathon. Exhausting, distracting, ridiculous. Stop pushing through it. Stop and address the damn car, so you can get on without it. Yes, it might come up again, but if you keep giving it the space to be heard and the space to process through the fear, you give it the space to heal.

How do you process through it?

Here are a few beginning tips.

3. Know what it is you’re really afraid of

It’s not “playing bigger” that you’re actually afraid of. It’s what “playing bigger” will mean: what you fear will happen, what you think someone might say or do, who you think that someone might be, and what all that might mean?

Right here I’m talking about our deepest core beliefs or fears—the stories we tell ourselves about Who We (or others) Are and what we’re capable of. The stories that keep us playing small in order to play it safe.

The best way to find your deepest core fear is to start with the scenario that’s freaking you out, and question it. Ask yourself why you’re really afraid of it, what you’re afraid might happen, and what that says or means.

This can take some time, and sometimes even support, so go back to #3), then you’ll need to create a scenario that tests it.

For instance, maybe you find you’re really afraid of ridicule from friends. One way to test that fear is to openly and authentically share your concerns and ask for feedback from those friends.

Or if you’re afraid of looking stupid, maybe you can purposefully go out and do something that makes you look ridiculous (think: giant rooster costume) and realize that the world neither crashes down around you, nor do most people even notice.

This isn’t about being rational. Because your fear likely isn’t very rational. This is about speaking to that irrational brain of yours, in terms it can understand: hard-core experiences to the contrary.

5. See those fears (or feedback) with compassion

This one is a hard practice, and I’m not gonna tell you it’s always one to practice. There are times when we don’t need to see the other side; times when we need to ignore the other side because it’s bi-polar and toxic and it’s probably a better bet to change our phone number than to try to empathize. (I’m talking about people who might not support you, but I’m also talking about those bipolar and toxic thoughts of yours too.)

Seeing the other side is about looking with empathy at what’s happening and trying to understand with compassion how it came to be this way, and the deeper needs that are trying to be heard and validated.

For example, a fear of “not being good enough” might be just an attempt to receive acceptance, something that we all need and deserve. Or for another example, the recent criticism of a parent for your career choice might actually be a need to know you will be secure.

I recommend this practice because it can be easy to get washed up in the fear, the drama, the criticism, the he-said/she-said, the messy stories and can we just say drama again? It’s easy to lose sight of what’s really happening beneath the crazy of what we’re thinking, saying, or doing.

But any time we drop beneath that, our path becomes clearer. Pretty soon we’re not wracked with self-doubt because our best friend said she didn’t think we could hack it; we have empathy for the fear or the hurt or the self-consciousness she may be experiencing.

Remember, seeing the other side is not about psycho-analyzing the other person, or even yourself. It’s about looking for love, with love. It’s about seeking understanding, instead of stoking the inferno of self-doubt.

6. Say what you need to say

This is a modified version of an exercise in Digging Deep, to help you have that conversation you’ve been needing to have in order to finally lay to bed the fear you’ve been experiencing.

This might be a letter to a hurtful loved one, to your younger self, or even to your own fear. Imagine yourself having a peaceful but firm conversation.

This likely also means you’ll need to see those fears (or the fears of someone else, perhaps) as in the last step. Send gratitude for the the good intentions of your fear, or the attempt to care for you from a loved one, then describe how it is that you’re okay, capable, ready for this.

You may give the fear your proof in the form of what you’ve been able to do, or how you’ll handle anything that comes up. You may even answer that nagging question of “Who the hell am I?” with an answer that starts something like, “I’ll tell you who I am…”

Take your time with this. Each time I’ve done this I’ve essentially had a four- or five-page “conversation” with my fear, letting it say everything it needed to say and calmly answering it with clear and confident choices. It sounds slightly ridiculous until you really let yourself fall into the exercise. Then you experience that weight lift off your shoulders.

Again, in all these exercises you’re looking to create mindfulness and understanding through acknowledgment and compassion.

Because understanding creates clarity in your choices or next steps, and clarity creates confidence. And confidence creates a wildly authentic, wildly unique, wildly successful blogger.

Tara Wagner offers lots more tools for overcoming self-doubt, fear, and other barriers to creating your own unconventional, authentic, and thriving lifestyle. You can find her and signup for her free e-course/toolkit to start thriving in your life and family (without the fear) at TheOrganicSister.com.

via problogger.net