Have the children ever wondered what sort of person shells out $13,500,000 to acquire a sprawling Hal Leavitt-designed fixer-upper in Beverly Hills, CA, spend untold millions more on an extraordinary renovation, have the damn thing photographed for Architectural Digest and then have the nerve tell the peeps at People magazine that it’s just “too much” because she’s “not this person” who owns and lives so lavishlyRom-com queen Jennifer Aniston, that’s who. Miz Aniston’s real estate ennui all started last summer when the actress was in London and awoke in the middle of the night, couldn’t sleep and decided she needed to “simplify” her life? How does a well-tended and unimaginably wealthy film and television star like Miz Aniston “simplify” her life? She considers selling her 9,000+ square foot mansion in the Bev Hills and (allegedly) puts in an offer on a $14,950,000 pre-war doo-plex penthouse in the arty-farty turned hoity-toity West Village neighborhood in New York City. We’re not sure how a fifteen million dollar penthouse with nearly $6,000 in monthly maintenance and vast planted terraces that require frequent visits from a strapping young gardener qualifies as a real estate simplification, but who are we to question the opaque and often vexatious real estate ways of the rich and famous?
The two floor penthouse Miz Aniston allegedly has her eyes on, according to listing information, spans 2,950 square feet and includes 3-4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, 2 fireplaces, and two terraces that total approximately 2,300 square feet. Imagine, children, having 2,300 square feet of outdoor space in downtown Manhattan. Lawrd puppies, Your Mama’s not even sure that the usable space our backyard in the Hollywood Hills comes to 2,300 square feet.The apartment recently underwent a 2-year renovation that included a meticulous restoration of the pre-war moldings and dark-stained herringbone patterned hardwood floors that run throughout the apartment including into the enviably equipped and multi-windowed eat-in kitchen that features marble counter tops and glass-fronted Shaker style cabinetry.
The long and linear apartment has a remarkably polished, sensible and floor plan (above) that devotes the majority of the second level to the master suite. A small upper level landing provide public access to the roof terrace and half bathroom saves flight of stairs for sunbathers, sunset watcher and green thumbs. The corner master suite is comprised of a generous bedroom with sitting area and windows with beguiling city and river views to the north and west, two on-the-small-side walk-in closets, and a greenhouse-style bathroom with double pedestal sinks, a claw-footed soaking tub, and frameless glass enclosed shower. Your Mama hopes all those windows are fitted with custom electronic shades that can be lowered at the push of a button and allow Miz Aniston needs to bathe and/or do her dirty bizness without fear of a distant neighbor with a pair of binoculars. A quick perusal of the property records indicates there aren’t a lot of name brand people living in the full-service building that’s so close to the Meatpacking District that it might as well be the Meatpacking District, but we did find that photographer Jessica Craig-Martin owns a couple of high floor unit, one of which she’s owned since 1999. Your Mama has no inside information about Miz Aniston so we really can’t vouch for the veracity of this particular real estate rumor. However, even if this is all just a hoo-ha of real estate smoke and mirrors, at least we can all enjoy the photos and floor plan as pure real estate porn to be savored quietly in a dim room with Marvin Gaye on the iPod.